Week 1 Theme: Self-Love and Self-Reflection

Day 4: Embracing Self-Love: Inner critics, demands and expectation

  • How are you feeling today?
    • I feel calm and grateful today. I felt frustrated last night but then I slept on it and have a walk around my area early this morning and had a cup of coffee. I' 
  • What are you grateful for today?
    • I got to enjoy my coffee and croissant at Eric Kayser. I went in lil bit late and its so noisy, maybe next time I'll go earlier
    • I got chance to catch with one of my girl friend. Havent meet here in 6months. 
    • I got to clean the house and declutter. Feels so much better and lighter
  • Self-criticism, demanding standards, and high expectations are part of the intricate tapestry of our inner world. We often set lofty bars for ourselves, aiming for excellence. However, the delicate balance between self-improvement and self-acceptance can be a challenge. These inner voices can propel us to greatness, yet they can also weigh us down. It's in learning to acknowledge, manage, and sometimes gently silence these inner critics that we find the path to self-compassion and a more balanced approach to personal growth and well-being.

The Positive Psychology website write a good article about how to live with inner critics. Sometimes you just can't help it but to compare yourself with other or having impossible expectation of ourself. Since we can't get rid of them, so lets find a way to live with it. For me, the best way that works whenever I have this inner critics towards myself, I will journal. I will pour my heart out, being angry, sad, cried and list all those things that bothers me. Then I'll try to recognise this as negative thoughts and give her a name. Eg. I called her Muffy. Whenever Muffy came around, I gave her chance to grieve/mad and comfort her after. Realize that its all just the narratives in my head. No one has said that to me. Then I'll try to change the narrative to sound more positive. And lastly, I'll try to make solution, if possible. Either to make a plan to achieve the goals, if its related to food then I'll make effort to make it, if its comparison then I'll write down my gratitudes etc. By trying to see things as third person, it has help me a lot to get out of my own negative thinking. The inner negative thoughts are going to ruins our happiness. So count your blessings and focus on 1 step at the time. I know its not easy but its not impossible. Don't you wanna be happy? Don't get addicted to being sad and self-pity. It's not fun.

I hope this can help some of you who struggle with this. Self love is a journey. And it can be a beautiful journey. Remember that you never alone.

Love,
Elsa