Salam and hi everyone,

How you guys doing? I hope you have a good days, weeks, months and so on. A small update, I'm still here at my home country. Still on the waiting game. I can't wait for Jan to be here but at the same time I don't want this year to end because I feel I haven't achieve anything. And, I think that what cause my 'depression'.

Talking about depression, I'm not self diagnosing myself with it and it might be a heavier term to put on it but I found myself in bad mood or sad mode for most of the days for months. I have 1-2 days in a week and the rest of them are miserable. I guess people might see me happy and noisy person from the outside because thats what I'm trying to portray. 'Fake it till you make it'. Yea, i'm doing that for the longest time because I do want to be happy but its save to say it didn't work out as what I expected it to be. 

I've been feeling down and sad for the longest time I can remember and this was because of so many factors. I can say its from all aspects in life; family, relationships, friends and jobs. So 1 way of be battling it down is with finding something that excite me keep living. I used to get excited to go to work but not anymore. I used to go work out at the gym because then I meet people and get engage but because of my transition period at the moment with work and life itself I can't subscribe to a gym on short term. At least not within my budget. I just make few hundreds bucks a month. 

At one point I thought I'm making progress in doing better in life but at this very moment I felt like I'm back at square one. I have a list of things I want to achieve by 2017, the status now is I have few check rights and most of are halfway there or getting worse than before. This is just me ranting about my sad life I guess haha 

Positive is a hard work when the world is against you. At least thats what felt like.


Have a nice day.
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